Prince's Journal

約束だ

Fri, 18 Dec 2009 16:57:14 GMT

新しいの友達
新しいの世界
新しいの約束
新しいの友愛
ちょっと変。
だが、これでいい
友愛だから
約束だから

ね、あんた。
ありがとうよ。
ぜたいに。

I'm alright

Fri, 11 Dec 2009 04:45:43 GMT

I am strong because I am weak
Because the Lord is my power
Even when my heart is at its worst
I will not cower

Though tears may fall
And I cannot see the path
The Lord will give me the strength
That I may soon laugh

I will watch like I always have
With a smile, and more
No matter how raw
No matter how sore

Because some of them mean more to me
Than I
If I could help them, I'd still be happy
Should I die

Prophecy. Or just life?

Thu, 03 Dec 2009 18:31:32 GMT

First of all. This is the two hundredth and second post.
How do I know?
Go to the address bar. Type my blog address, slash archive, slash two hundred and two. Add a dot HTML, too.
(http://prince-seph.blogdrive.com/archive/202.html)

Yeah. I kid you not. So , as of now, if you want to, you can actually type in any number up to two hundred and two, and view that post(except one hundred. For some reason).
Yes. This blog has been around for a long time.

When I was twelve, I made a prophecy.
I posted it here once. It is post #27.
(http://prince-seph.blogdrive.com/archive/27.html)

I think...after all this time. I may have found the one I was waiting for.
It's....exciting.

Chapter X

Sat, 28 Nov 2009 14:30:56 GMT

The boy was walking home, his mind filled with many things.
He held the hearts of the ones he loved, because he willingly siphoned their pain.
There was a knock on his shoulder. And he snapped out of his thoughts.
There was no pain, but he looked up to see a drunken man.
He stank.
"Tch" the boy grumbled. And tried to move past him.
The man lashed out with a yell. The boy sighed.
"Tough luck" The boy muttered. "Bad timing"
He let the bottle of cheap beer crash down upon his head, and simply smiled.
He let the pain in his heart merge with the pain on his head and channeled it to his hands.
His hands thrust toward the man, who was confused, and struck him in the chest.
"This, is pain. You were hurt inside, and thus, wanted to hurt me. But your pain only caused me a little blood and a night or two of healing. My pain, will cause you to writhe and squirm, and it won't heal as quickly. You may die, you may not. I am done with you. Of course...I doubt you even understand what I just said."
The man fell to his knees with empty eyes as the boy walked away.

The people I love have no idea how 'lucky' they are, that I could never turn against them.
The boy thought. He chuckled to himself, and looked forward to school the following day.

Last Straw

Thu, 26 Nov 2009 16:38:30 GMT

Enough.

Yes. I will keep pretending, but only those who care can see through when I do.
No. I am not going to keep bringing things up. Not really having a shoulder to lean on only means I'll get stronger eventually.

Enough. No more feeing hurt or displeased.
Hold it in. Hold it ALL in.

I am still a cloud after all.

Bittersweet

Fri, 13 Nov 2009 16:14:56 GMT

To sense feelings unvoiced
To see actions undone
To hear words unsaid
To be loved, untold.

Today was...
Bittersweet.

The Temperament of Clouds

Thu, 12 Nov 2009 11:03:19 GMT

"Seph,
Your personality is Melancholy Phlegmatic

Melancholy
65%

Phlegmatic
25%

Sanguine
3%

Choleric
8%"

I am liken to a cloud.
You will always know where to look.
In times of reflection, you may look to it.
In it you may find answers.
In it, you may find just that little bit of strength to smile.
It can take any shape, ever changing, from one image to the next.
Unpredictable, but soothing nonetheless.

It will watch from where it is
Always growing, learning.
Though it may not hear your thoughts,
It senses your heart.
It will always be there, no matter the day or time.
Though sometimes grey and dull.
Other days, scattered, difficult to see.
But still there.

An independent role, freedom is indeed binding.
Ever so far.
Even as it looks, and watches and provides shelter.
As it dances in various shapes for you to smile.
It can never embrace you.
Nor spend time with you.
But it is happy.
Because it can always watch over you.
And though, in time, you may forget the cloud that you once gazed upon.
Somehow, you always will know.
The clouds, are still there.

Even clouds cry sometimes.
Even clouds get frustrated.
Lonely.
Maybe there is a secret that clouds are keeping.
Maybe clouds have feelings too.

...I know I do....

But clouds know their purpose.
And they do their duty.

The Melancholy of Seph

Sat, 07 Nov 2009 15:49:10 GMT

Hunh.
I guess I've been feeling a little stoic lately.
I mean, at first I felt insignificant and used.
But gradually, I just feel that it really does not matter.
There is no point changing something that should not and would not be changed.
No point at all.
I was being weak to complain and feel bad about it.
All the while having no control over the situation.

It will no longer hold me.
I, too, need to continue walking.
I will love, and I will keep my promises to the best I can.
The very promises that are important to me.
But I will no longer sit and wish that anyone would sit with me.
No.
If they need me, I will sit by them instead.
To love them and console them.
To just talk and make them feel better.
And to leave with a prayer.
And a pat on the head and a smile on my face.
It is what I am made to do.
It is something that makes me feel alive.
So until another chance.

I will wait without further complaint.
For my chance to be of use once again.
これは僕の運命だ。

同じ高みへ。時を刻む唄。

Sat, 31 Oct 2009 19:01:26 GMT

^ I love this song...
As much as I love "約束" (Yakusoku { Promise ).
The first one is "Onaji Takami e" and the other is "Toki wo Kizamu Uta"
It roughly translates to "To the Same Heights" and "Song which passes the time"
Both songs use the same tune. And that's because "To the same heights" was originally used in the game.
"Toki wo Kizamu uta" was then created with lyrics and was used for the Anime. :)
I think they have a vocal version of "Yakusoku", but I cannot find it anywhere. :(
Anyway, here's the song! :)
If you're very emotional, get tissues ready.
If you've finished Clannad, you'd need a whole box. :)
Btw, to stop the music that is already playing, click the pause button on the purple circle on the right. :)

I really do love it.

Cycle

Thu, 29 Oct 2009 17:17:06 GMT

It feels like a weird rotation of sorts.
It forces me to wonder if I will remain like this.
When one loses something, another is gained.
What did I lose in my life that influences this part of me?
I was called a "cool dude"
Unfazed in the face of danger.
That is...untrue.
It's just that I've seen worse, felt worse.
That it takes a lot to shake me.
And yet, such a thing as this...

Anyway, if there is anything I do not want to do.
Is to self-pity.
But even so, I won't pretend that I am fully alright.
But I guess I need to stop worrying the people who care.
Or at least the people who say they care.
It is difficult to differentiate sometimes.
Either way, I do not want to be a burden.
There is someone I do share my thoughts with,
And that person is nice enough to listen and still accept me for that.
But I really need to get to the root of it, and pick up my game.
There is only so much I can dump on a person.
Eh.
But it seems like I feel truly alive when they confide in me.
But I am me. They are them.

I need to control the influx of emotional information.
I need to stop it from affecting me.
I don't know who will understand.
But there are several whom I wish do try to comprehend.

Of course it hurts.
It's been hurting for a while.
And the fact that I have a bad habit of not saying what I want to say,
Nor doing what I feel I should do
Have I disappointed anyone?

But sometimes, it does indeed feel like I am walking alone despite the company.
Which makes me wonder.
Which point in time did I stop being okay with that?
I used to walk alone all the time.

I guess, I just don't want to anymore.
Though I guess I shall, for just a while longer.

I love them so much. Far more then I expected myself to. Far more than I usually allow myself to.

I was not prepared for my own emotions. Not at all.