Well. At least I have "Lost" to watch.
Until my battery dies, that is.

Okay. The day keeps getting worse.

First of all, I'm sick.
Like, fever, cold, cough. The works. And I'm sleepy.
But I went out to church.
I lost my glasses at the arcade. And I went back 10 mins later
They were gone.
I asked around. No one saw them.
What kind of iufjsytr89olsakyumd wouldn't return my glasses to the counter?!
I don't know what kind of iufjsytr89olsakyumd this person was.
But he/she is still a iufjsytr89olsakyumd!
So yeah. Glasses gone.
Fine. You know me.
If something goes missing, etc.
I get over it. Fast.
No point crying over spilt milk, as it were.
Fine.
I decided to go home to rest.
Took the bus....yearning for retreat.
When I reached my door.
Wait.
I forgot my keys.
In my rush to leave the house in the morn.
I forgot to take my keys!
Not to mention I forgot to take my medicine too.
So here I am.
At McDonalds. Waiting.
Ugh.

But all is well. It isn't the end of the world.
Wait...I don't fear the end of the world.
Ugh...

Remember remember,the fifth of November
The Gunpowder Treason and Plot
I know of no reason
Why the Gunpowder Treason
Should. Ever. Be. Forgot.

Guy Fawkes Night. A lesson to be learnt.

Which brings me to my next part :

"Voilą! In view, a humble vaudevillian veteran, cast vicariously as both victim and villain by the vicissitudes of fate. This visage, no mere veneer of vanity, is a vestige of the vox populi, now vacant, vanished. However, this valorous visitation of a bygone vexation stands vivified, and has vowed to vanquish these venal and virulent vermin vanguarding vice and vouchsafing the violently vicious and voracious violation of volition. The only verdict is vengeance; a vendetta held as a votive, not in vain, for the value and veracity of such shall one day vindicate the vigilant and the virtuous. Verily, this vichyssoise of verbiage veers most verbose vis-ą-vis an introduction, so let me simply add that it's my very good honour to meet you and you may call me V."
- V

The best monologue I have ever heard and seen.


Anyway. Reading about the whole thing stirred something in me.
Not necessarily connected.
But perhaps, it created a certain resonance within.
Something I do wish to say, but may not be able to form words for.

People who read my words.
"Emo", "Depressed", "Dark".
Think what you may.

I say this in truth;
That if you judge me, or even what I say
And label it as above.
I have no doubt, that you are ignorant.

Yes.
Ignorant.
Confront me if you wish,
But I meant no insult.

To read my words, is but to glance at my "outspoken" thoughts.
Do not label me if you simply misunderstand.
Or if it is too "chim". Too different.
It is neither of our faults if this is beyond your comprehension
I do not refer to my words, but the very meaning of what I say
If you wished to stay in your world of bliss,
You should not have come here.

I do have relatively happy posts.
This is not one of them.
But neither is it dark.
Unless,of course,you've been living in your world of rainbows and ponies
Then yes,this is "dark",compared to that.

The First Stage.
It often begins well. For perhaps I give the impression that I am friendly.
Maybe I seem nice. Perhaps it is the fact that I am unique.
In the first stage, it attracts some.
People are drawn.

The Second Stage.
I become known as someone with interesting views.
My words start to carry serious weight.
I become less cautious with what I say.
But I am still known to provide valuable advice.
Or perhaps, simply known to be able to think deep.

The Third Stage.
This is the point that few reach.
I become somehow known as a dark persona.
But they learn that love is what drives me.
Those that try, manage to accept me this far.
And perhaps, the sincerity of love that I emit.
It draws people to tell me of their heart. Or maybe t simply feel safe with me around.

The Forth Stage.
I suddenly become known as an overpowering force.
People grow wary, afraid. Tired.
They fail to understand how I affect those around me.
They fail to understand why.
They notice the subtle changes in my demeanor.
It is a curious thing, at this point.
They misunderstand, because they think they understand.
It is like cracking a nutshell, only to find another shell.
But thinking it is the fruit.
It is here that I am seen as a threat.
It is here, that my beliefs are unimaginable.
It is here, that the connection fails.


Because I am a warrior by nature
I would cut down an enemy without regret.
And yet, I would love utterly.
Love and hate cannot co-exist.
I love people for their core.
And the rest, will turn out easier to accept.

But I am a warrior.
Not in the traditional sense.
But a different kind of warrior.

Perhaps it is difficult for many to understand.
Difficult to understand what drives me.
Difficult to understand why I am the way I am.

But I tell you this.
It is in my simplicity that I am profound.
Love is love. And if you love someone,you love someone.
Simple as that.
Love is what drives me.
Love is why I will still smile.
At those who hug.
And at those who shrug.

But my greatest strength, is my greatest flaw.
I choose who to love.
And once I made that choice, I cannot break from it.
It is like a seal. A vow.
If I choose to love someone.
I would continue even after the person shoves me away.
My flaw.
Because I am but flesh,
To love strongly, I cannot love many.
And thus. My flaw.
Because I would kill for love.
I would put every fiber of my being to break anyone who would harm someone loved.
That is my flaw.

I hurt, because of love.
I smile, because of love.
I live, because of love.

And those who know my eyes would understand.
That they are that way, because of love.
From the kindest expression.
To the most fearsome one.
Love is more powerful than hate.

Love...is truly...

Fearsome.

Now I know why people flee from me

Whoa.
A classmate of mine listens to The GazettE
THE GAZETTE!
Don't know which band that is. Look back a couple of posts.
Yeah. That GazettE.
Yeah. I never woulda guessed.

Well. A good surprise for once.

But if I find out that someone I know listens to...
Versailles (-Philharmonic Quintet-)

I'd be completely completely completely
BLOWN AWAY

It is a bad habit of mine to blog early in the morn.
Anyway.
Did I yet say that I need to grow up?
I'm not entirely sure if I posted this already.
I'm sleepy.
Anyway. I hate these games.
Well,let me rephrase.
I hate those kind of games where we run around in circles.
And in the end,nothing changes.

And if someone says "I won't talk to you till you grow up more"
That person is immature as well.
And I have been guilty of thinking that too.
We all grow at different speeds.
In different ways.
People are different.
We won't always agree.
But what's important is that we accept one another anyway.

There isn't a need to shy from confrontation
Provided,of course.
The confrontation is a friendly one.
Discuss opinions. And at the very least;
Agree that both parties won't agree with each other.
And accept the other's opinions.
I mean. Can't people disagree without losing their cool.
Without starting a "cold war"

"Can't we all just get along?" - Rodney King

We could all talk. And lay our cards on the table.
We can say what we like about a situation.
What we don't like.
We can come to a compromise.
Sacrifices on both sides.
But towards a common goal.
At least there will be a consensus.
Then we move on.
There won't be a need to hide.
There won't be a need to fear.

Friendship. Love. Comradeship.

It takes sacrifice sometimes.
We are all different. And we will always find something that we disagree on.
But. We can always compromise.
Always.
At least.
I am willing to.

After all...I know I'm not always right.



But what do you do when everyone thinks you're "crazy"?

For once,I'm just gonna type out what I think.
I do that in emails sometimes,but for once. I'm letting the public know.

I'm afraid to double-click.
My heart races each time the cursor hovers over.
I just can't do it.
I don't know what do say.
No.
That's a lie.
I know what I want to say.
I think I'm afraid to say anything else.
I need to grow up.

This brings back old memories.
When looking at a name would send this pang.
Lol.
The pain...the fear not of being hurt
But of hurting someone else

I want to know
What goes on in your head?
You and you and you.
What are you thinking...
I really don't understand sometimes.
Maybe that is my flaw.
BUt i do try to understand.

Ugh. I'm still looking.
My cursor hovered again.
But this time,my good friend is talking to me
I don't have many good friends.
And those who get offended by that,grow up
You know what it really takes to be my friend.
Ugh.
Anyway.
I don't know why these few things keep concerning me.
They're not helping.
Ugh. UGH.
I'm such a qoiwheoiqhwaoihfoiahwgoihe

Maybe I care too much.
Maybe.
Heck,but I mean.
UGH.
WHATEVER.









Come what may.
Ball is not in my court.
Stop worrying.

But maybe it is not my place to love them.
But God says to love.
UGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

COME. WHAT. MAY.



But I still care.

You look at me with judging eyes
Unsure of what you see
But little do you know,behind those lies.
You are much like me.

OKay. Well. I can't tell you this directly.
Because. I've been saying a lot lately.
And I don't want to spoil anything by saying too much.
Which I may have.
Because every time I say something.
I fear that I said something that I shouldn't have.
But I do realize this.
I...am who I am.
And though I accept people.
I do not expect this of others.

But I will not hold myself back.
Except when it concerns you or anyone else.
If it's personality. That won't change.
But I would change the way I talk to you.
If it's morals and beliefs. That won't change either.
But I'd avoid the topic entirely.
And if it's about friendship. You know I'd always be a friend.
But I'd merely keep quiet,for your pseudo-comfort.

Knowing you,you may probably be wondering if it's you when you read this.
But also knowing you. You probably wouldn't even be here to read it.
Various people have made various claims.
Few understand what they actually promise.
And even fewer carry it out.

You're human. You're not so different.
As am I. So I'm not angry.
But I believe. This is what you call an empty promise.

I am not depressed.
I'm not even sad.
I've learnt not to rely on you.
And I've learnt to deal with disappointment.
Your company,amongst many others,was something I did enjoy having.
However.
It was something I desired. But nothing I required.
So though you are important to me.
I'd have to say,it's too bad.

Life's like that.






Oh a much lighter note.

I'm really not depressed!
A little stressed at the workload maybe.
But not sad.
I've learnt to find solace.
So what? It's weird. It's awkward.
And even when it comes to class issues.
So what? I mean. Things happen.
I say stupid things,I do stupid things.
People say and do stupid things.
That's life.
I'm alright!
Besides. For those who do know.
I've remembered that gift which comes from the Lord
Through the Lord.
I'm going to keep him in my heart.
That I may love profoundly.
Though it may be mistaken,for I am not God.
I know of the love He has shown me.

I am loved.
And I love in return.









And like a singaporean would say.
"If you dow wan,your loss lah!"

I forgot how much I love this song?
Check out that headbang!
Ha ha








Please watch in HD!

You got what you deserved.


Don't look for me.
You will be regarded as an enemy.
-Seph