無用です無用です無用です無用です無用です無用です無用です無用です無用です無用です無用です無用です無用です無用です無用です無用です無用です無用です無用です無用です無用です無用です無用です無用です無用です無用です無用です無用です無用です無用です無用です無用です無用です無用です無用です無用です無用です無用です無用です無用です無用です無用です無用です無用です無用です無用です無用です無用です無用です無用です無用です無用です無用です無用です無用です無用です無用です無用です無用です無用です無用です無用です無用です無用です無用です無用です無用です無用です無用です無用です無用です無用です無用です無用です無用です無用です無用です無用です無用です無用です無用です無用です無用です無用です無用です無用です無用です無用です無用です無用です無用です無用です無用です無用です無用です無用です無用です無用です無用です無用です無用です無用です無用です無用です無用です無用です無用です無用です無用です無用です無用です無用です無用です無用です無用です無用です無用です無用です無用です無用です無用です無用です無用です無用です無用です無用です無用です無用です無用です無用です無用です無用です無用です無用です無用です無用です無用です無用です無用です無用です無用です無用です無用です無用です無用です無用です無用です無用です無用です無用です無用です無用です無用です無用です無用です無用です無用です無用です無用です無用です無用です無用です無用です無用です無用です無用です無用です無用です無用です無用です無用です無用です無用ですThis is not good. Not at all. 無用です無用です無用です無用です無用です無用です無用です無用です無用です無用です無用です無用です無用です無用です無用です無用です無用です無用です無用です無用です無用です無用です無用です無用です無用です無用です無用です無用です無用です無用です無用です無用です無用です無用です無用です無用です無用です無用です無用です無用です無用です無用です無用です無用です無用です無用です無用です無用です無用です無用です無用です無用です無用です無用です無用です無用です無用です無用です無用です無用です無用です無用です無用です無用です無用です無用です無用です無用です無用です無用です無用です無用です無用です無用です無用です無用です無用です無用です無用です無用です無用です無用です無用です無用です無用です無用です無用です無用です無用です無用です無用です無用です無用です無用です無用です無用です無用です無用です無用です無用です無用です無用です無用です無用です無用です無用です無用です無用です無用です無用です無用です無用です無用です無用です無用です無用です無用です無用です無用です無用です無用です無用です無用です無用です無用です無用です無用です無用です無用です無用です無用です無用です無用です無用です無用です無用です無用です無用です無用です無用です無用です無用です無用です無用です無用です無用です無用です無用です無用です無用です無用です無用です無用です無用です無用です無用です無用です無用です無用です無用です無用です無用です無用です

I have a great friend....
Thank you,********




You know who you are...thank you so much

I need to be careful
I mean...I've let myself be too open
I've dropped my guard
I think I've found people who care
I think...
But I still need to be careful
I really do
Even though,in my class I have people I like
And even people I love...
And that can be a problem if they don't understand
If I love,I care
And when I care
I admit,sometimes I care too much
I become an extra
A bother
I don't want to be that

Yeah...I'll say it here
And I'll even tell you if you ask
I want to be important for once
And I don't want to get that by trying to be
Neither do I want to be famous
Just important,to a certain few people

And well,even if not...
I can only live,as I had before this







Why am I so different?

I love my class...
If you ask me why...I probably won't be able to tell you...
But seriously...it's filled with wonderful wonderful people
It's like...starting life all over again
I never had many friends...
I never let people get too close...

It'll be different this time...
It's been a great start...

And I know people will probably expect me to blog about....
The events of today
But I guess I'm already focusing far in the future...

This is the start of a great year...

Orientation was tiring.

But you know what? I think it was kinda fun.
Not the games and all.
But all the complaining together and stuff.
I guess one may consider it bonding.
Lol.
I guess poly would be fun...
I hope so.
New friends are cool btw...Wendy and Pei Fern
Really really cool.
May say closer to them for now. >.<
So...my classmates....
Hmm...well,naturally,many of them wore masks
I mean,I can't blame them,it's the first day
I just have to tolerate it for now.

Oh...and my class....
has only five...
FIVE guys...(that turned up anyway)
Hunh........

Well....less macho BS then.
:D

What do people make of me...I do wonder.
I am about to start another phase of my life...
How will people take in my image?
My heritage?
Surely I'd have friends?
After all...we're all writers,or readers...
Right?
I'm,anxious really....
I do want to meet everyone for some reason...
Ha,Optimism,my dear,you have visited me.

But honestly...how will people react to my nature.
To this polite demeanor.
Will people want my help?
After all...I admit that I do enjoy listening to people.
Advice,counsel,I have a knack for that.
However,this visage pushes many away...
I am not a scary person...
I really am not...
Am I?

Surely my intense reflective nature is not intimidating.
Nor my knowing eyes fearsome.
Many fail to know me,only because of the lack of care.
The lack of interest,in my person.
Boring? Maybe.
But I assure you...
Behind this shell of nearly eighteen years...
Lies a heart so big...
And a soul so deep...
That you would only understand...
If you dare try to discover it...

Come,all thou people I will inevitably meet.
Show me if you understand.

I love writing...
But darn it's troublesome to fill in the details...
I'm burning to get to the interesting parts of Moonchild...
But...oh well....
I'd just come to it slowly.

And I'm so sorry...I know I haven't updated the weblog version since last year.
But!
I assure you...I've been writing...in that orange notebook
And I rearranged the plot a bit
Don't worry...for those who read the online version.
It'll still fit the two "chapters" that I typed.

If anyone's interested in reading,well,do contact me.
I won't put a link up because it's not all that good yet,
But for those who like reading,or just want to read anyway,
Let me know~~~~

Let's just say...it's gonna be more interesting...
I promise you a good read! So do bear with me.

Well,here's the story,and it'll be a testimony in the end,I'm sure of it.

My O results were horrid,so I decided to apply for the "Creative Writing for TV and New Media"(a mouthful,I know! DTVM for short) in SP,through JPSAE. Long story short,went for interview,went well.
However,on posting day,it turned out that I was posted to TP,Interactive Media Technology. Disappointed? Naturally...But I couldn't really do anything,I couldn't appeal,because according to the "rules" of appeal,I only could appeal for a course if my aggregate was the same,or better than the COP.
So I threw that hope into the bin...

Weeks later,on Sunday after church,my mom asked me to go to Subway to get stuff. Surprisingly,someone tapped me on the shoulder,I turned around,curious. Few people do that,to me anyway. Before me,was a somewhat familiar face,though I could not figure why. The woman looked slightly unsure,and asked me if I went for an interview for DTVM in SP...Then something clicked. She was one of the people who was there,appraising me. I had forgotten because I had already abandoned all hope. But then,strangely,she asked me if I had gotten into DTVM. Puzzled,I told her that I hadn't and got a place in TP instead. She was surprised,and asked me to send her an appeal letter through email,and to attach some of my works to it. She bid me good luck and left me there. It was then I thanked God,surely this was a sign? So I did as she told me as soon as I could.
A reply e-mail stated that I would know the outcome by the end of February.
February passed...
And it hit March...Still,no word was heard from SP...So I abandoned hope again. The TP package had come. And I had to enroll by the deadline...
My darling,however,refused to give up hope..."You MUST get into that course",she told me,repeatedly...And I just smiled sadly and shook my head...After all,I had to enroll in a few days...

I enrolled in TP yesterday,a day before the deadline...And I was fully prepared to slug it out and make the best out of the course I was given. And then,mere minutes ago,a call came...It was someone from SP(I forgot her name,so sorry! I think it was also one of the people who interviewed me). She told me that I should receive the package shortly. And that Enrollment is only due later in March. She also said that after the package came,I should be able to un-enroll from TP,should I choose to enroll in SP. I smiled.

Look at that,people. Look at that. Even when it seemed impossible,Jesus saved me at the last possible moment. It's not like I expected this...And,I'm glad to say...Darling was right...Pfft,she has more faith than I. I should call her up later when she finishes school to tell her the news...and to thank her. After all,if it's not my prayers that "convinced" God...It's surely hers.

Jesus fought for me till the very end...and...so did she

Why do I blog? People probably drop by...learning about my life through my words.
And yet...I don't say enough for one to truly know me...
Maybe...let me type as thus,so that people who really care(or who are really nosy),would take the trouble to translate...

多分。..多分時は再び来ました。 彼女は最近目覚めました、そして私。..私は個人的に我々のような人々を見いだすことを望みます。 もう一度。
我々が一緒に強くあり得るように、多くが私の能力を笑います。 私が知っているけれども、力が神によって与えられること。
私はクレジットをとることができません。
それでも、人々が私を横柄で、得意であると呼びます。
多分（彼・それ）らは正しいです。
しかしながら。..
この力は本当です。..そして私はそれを持っている唯一の人ではありません。
１（人・つ）であるために、それぞれが１人の人としてそして４として来なくてはなりません

厳粛なことは別として、私は最終的に結婚しています。 はい、あなたは私の声を聞きました。 結婚しています。
私はけれどもペーパーに署名しませんでした。..
けれども私は大変彼女を愛します、そして私は気にかけるあなたたちのすべてが間に合ってそれを受け入れるであろうことを希望します。

I did cheat death.....
Again...
But I must be careful....
Very careful...

Life has recently been more interesting than before...
The pain is greater than much I have ever experienced...
But it is worth it...
I am not perfect... Neither is anyone else
The past does hurt...
People make mistakes...
As do I...
But,I suppose,my role as a teacher has not ended...
But I do sometimes wish...
That it was all easier...

I mean...I'm not even an adult yet....
And I talk as if I'm some hardened man...
But then again...I did cheat death...

Thank God for that...
Or I'd probably be "dead"...

What a sobering thought....